Editor's Note: The most well known misinterpretation of the lyrics to a Bruce Cockburn song are from the chorus of "If I Had A Rocket Launcher" (heard as "If I Had A Rocking Lawn Chair") -- so well known that it made the book "Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy", a published collection of misheard lyrics (the title a parody on Jimi Hendrix's line, "Excuse me while I kiss the sky" from the song, "Purple Haze"). Below is a rewrite of the whole song based on that one line....I strive for relaxation - a little every day.
I don't believe in big Jacuzzis and I don't believe in golf.
I don't believe in lying - faking sick for a day off.
So when the weekend gets here, I wanna dump all of my stress.
If I had a rocking lawn chair...I'd get my needed rest.
In the office where I work fifty people wait
to mire me in bureaucracy, or some less humane fate.
I cry for common sense, I won't get caught in their trap.
If I had a rocking lawn chair...I could ignore that crap.
I don't want to raise my voice, so I've really got to try.
Take a deep breath and relax, as water rises to my eyes.
Situation desperate! I'm just about to crack!
If I had a rocking lawn chair...I'd get myself some slack.