Note: poking good natured fun at the Humans listserv and comments thereon.
CHORUS:
These are the small circumstances
That Humans face all the time
I don't know why they don't go out
And get a life like mine.
Freeway moves like a blood clot, aneurysms of belated businessclones.
Missed my Costco exit, need a pallet of strings for the tour.
Enough nylon to stretch a tent, revival meeting or carnival peep show,
Only time for the inconvenience store, Dangerous narrow aisles and muzak
squirting in my ears like cobra venom.
Five and a half bucks for four litres of milk,
Pimpled sixteen year old clerk's face,
corporate camoflage for bovine mammary scam.
If numchuks weren't outside in the glove-box, I'd know what to do right now.
These are the small circumstances
That humans face all the time.
I don't know why they don't go out
And get a life like mine.
(Instrumental Break: Peruvian Dog Whistle Solo)
Check the death mail, flyers and bills
Daughter's tuition due, Can't get student loan, Old man
pulls in too much, spraying his soul from Birmingham to Europa.
Revenue Canada disallowed farm subsidy, Lead crop on shooting range won't qualify.
University registrars and tax auditors welcome to visit that range.
And all the musical friends on the internet, Can't make contact with my Commodore 64.
I'm outta here! Argentina, New Guinea, Baffin Island, No more pacing this cage when...
These are the small circumstances
That Humans face all the time
I don't know why they don't go out
And get a life like mine.