I don't believe in low fat butter
And I don't believe in bran
I don't believe in roughage
Makes me head straight for the can
But when I read about Cholesterol
It just makes me want to sigh
If I had a Bacon sandwich
I surely would not die
I've got to open my mouth
Start to evangelise
How this glorious bacon sandwich
Just clogs up my insides
Served with triple strength expresso
Gets me ready for the day
If I Had a Bacon Sandwich
I would not feel this way
So here I am in this cheap diner
Dollar 99 to stay
And eat my breakfast this fine morning
And then go on my way
Arteries are desperate
As my veins they start to fry
If I had a Bacon Sandwich
This son-of-a bitch will die